


I Need You So Much Closer

by toothIess



Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Spoilers, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 21:41:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14819388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toothIess/pseuds/toothIess
Summary: Spoilers for s3e3.Leo is finally allowed to feel again





	I Need You So Much Closer

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place right where the scene between Mattie and Leo ended and explores their feelings further. 
> 
> Title is inspired by the song [Transatlanticism](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3b6hDCIeDk) by Death Cab for Cutie

Mattie’s warm breath brushed against the hollow of Leo’s neck. His eyes fluttered open and he saw that it was still the middle of the night. He could feel Mattie’s bare breast pressed against his side as she had her arm circled around his middle. Leo was almost certain that everything that had just happened between them had been an imagination of his fantasy, but the weight and the warmth of Mattie in his arms told him otherwise.

He had really slept with Mattie Hawkins, the girl who had been playing such a poignant part in his life ever since he had first laid his eyes upon her. At first Leo had built an imaginary wall around himself to shield himself from others who weren’t part of his family and Mattie had been the first one who actually succeeded into peeling bricks from his wall and seeing Leo for who he truly was. Whenever he was with her he wanted to tell her the truth about how he was feeling instead of brushing it off with a shrug like he would usually do. Mattie had always cared about him.

Leo could still remember the shock on Mattie’s face when she had told him what Hester had said had happened between the of them. Back then Leo had been rather gullible and could be easily cohorsed into doing things. He had believed that whatever he had with Hester was something that he truly wanted, but he had been wrong. He had no desire to be with Hester, he never had. He simply took the comfort and companionship from someone who offering that to him. Leo had felt like the biggest idiot in the world after the deed when he came to the realization that this hadn’t brought him any satisfaction because Hester wasn’t Mattie.

He had been wanting to tell Mattie about how she actually made him feel for quite some time, but he hadn’t been given a proper opportunity for that and then he had slipped into a coma. Leo thought that his chances with Mattie had faded away along with his synth brain. When he had woken up from his coma only a few days ago and found out that Mattie had hardly left his side since he had been brought there Leo dared to hope again. He couldn’t just have been the only one who was imagining this electrifying feeling that sparked between the two of them.

When Mattie had brought him with her to her house where he would be staying as a guest for an unknown time his gaze found hers a lot more often than it used to and Leo tried to advert her curious gaze so that no one else in the house could see him smiling. Then Mattie had asked him to go out with her that evening and Leo blessed whoever was responsible for gifting him another chance for getting to love Mattie and that his feelings hadn’t faded over time, but had only increased when he had first saw her face when he had woken up from his coma.

It wouldn't have mattered to Leo where Mattie would’ve taken them because he already was the happiest he had ever been since he was able to spend more time with the young woman who was stirring his heartstrings. At first he had thought that Mattie was going to take him to a local pub that she would often visit, but he had instead asked her to show him around at her former school so that they would be alone and that he had the opportunity to get to know Mattie better. There was no way that she could be hiding her true emotions from him when it was just the two of them.

And Mattie spoke to him from her heart and had showed him her how she had been truly feeling since Day Zero, which was guilty. He had tried to talk her out of it since none of this was actually Mattie’s doing and he didn’t want her to hate herself for something she hadn’t done. Mattie was someone who cared a lot about people and who would never intently hurt another. She had only done it to save Mia which was a total act of selflessness and she shouldn’t hate herself for her actions. Mattie had shown her vulnerable side to him, only to hi, and Leo now understood her feelings better than ever.

When they had ended up in her room after their night out he watched her hover around the room for a few moments and wanted to kiss her. Taste her. And so he did. When he at first brushed his lips against hers she didn’t shy away from his touch and instead remained right there where he was, her gaze intensely locked with his and he could see the desire and lust in her eyes.

As soon as she kissed him back Leo’s capability to think straight went out of the window. This was the woman that he had secretly desired from a far for so long and she was finally kissing him with such an urgency as if it was something that she had been denying herself. Her hands didn’t hesitate to pull him closer to her as if she wanted to drown in him.

Leo wasn’t a virgin, but he wasn’t exactly an expert when it came to sex either since he didn’t have that much experience with it. He knew that he wasn’t Mattie’s first, but he wanted to make their first time together matter because this was something that they had both wanted for so long. He didn’t want her to regret it because he was rushing into it or something. Leo was simply too nervous to keep a clear mind, but Mattie’s gentle touches brought him back to reality.

When he took of his shirt and exposed himself in front of her Mattie didn’t hesitate. She brought up her hand to touch the scar where his wound used to be when he had still been part synth, but now there was only a fair scar that would remind him where it was. Mattie touched him in a way of getting familiar with his body and tried to study him in the best way that she possibly could, like you would do with someone that you love. Mattie didn’t have to say the words because they were crystal clear in her dark eyes.

During these short minutes Leo had already grown addicted to kissing Mattie’s lips to pull himself back. He was like a drowning man who was desperate to breath and only Mattie could provide him that. He needed more of her. _And more and more._

Leo was careful with her and his touches soft and sweet as he got to know Mattie in the most intimate way possible. She truly was as beautiful as he had always thought that she would be and she was much better in reality than any fantasy would ever be. Neither of them showed any dominance and they both took their time to explore each others bodies now that they were given the chance.

When he slid into her it was almost as if all of his pain and agony was entirely forgotten about because Mattie Hawkins was the one who completely consumed his mind. This was about them and Leo allowed himself to make it count because he might not be given another opportunity like this ever again. It was Leo’s intention to try and make this last as long as possible, but apparently the need was too urgent for both of them which made him change the speed of his thrusts, especially because of the way that Mattie was moaning into his mouth. His orgasm caught him entirely by surprise and Mattie was quick to follow him over the edge.

When he had softened and pulled out of her he could hear Mattie groan at the loss of him inside of her. Leo lay a soft kiss against her sweat stricken forehead as he took in the scent of her skin that was so Mattie Hawkins.

"No regrets?" Leo asked doubtfully when she hadn’t said anything for some time.

Mattie pushed him back onto his back so that she could twirl his chest hair and look him in the eye, a love-struck smile glued onto his lips. "No, Leo. I didn’t regret it at all if you must know," she said softly. "You know that this is something that we both wanted for quite some time."

His heart was beating out of control as he wrapped an arm around her waist to press her bare skin against him and he was certain that she could feel it. Leo didn’t deserve Mattie and he didn’t know what he had ever done to be blessed with someone who could easily make his knees buckle by just addressing him a personal smile. He needed to feel her so much closer against him.

"Do you think that your family heard us?" he then asked instead because they had gotten rather carried away.

Mattie laughed joyfully as her eyes crinkled. "I am convinced that at least Toby might have heard us no matter how quiet we were since his room is adjacent to mine."

Leo scrunched his nose. "Oh, no. I’m never going to hear the end of that."

"That’s quite possible. Toby is known for his teasing ways which is a Hawkins trait," Mattie replied, never removing her gaze from him because she had him exactly where she had wanted him for years and she wasn’t going to waste that.

"And what if your mother heard us?"

There was a certain look in Mattie’s gaze as she leaned closer to him. "My mother is not a fool and I’ve actually told her the truth about my feelings when you were still in a coma and she asked me why I was visiting you all the time. She’s not someone who you should fear, Leo."

"I don’t fear Laura," he made clear as he brushed his nose against hers which was a loving gesture. "I just don’t know how she’s going to react when she finds out that the man that she has been allowing to stay here as a guest has ended up in her daughters bed. She might not approve of that."

"You worry too much, Leo," Mattie said while her fingers traced patterns on his chest as a way of trying to get to know him better. "She knew this would happen sooner or later."

"Mattie, I wanted to thank you for tonight. This was actually the first time I felt _alive_. At first I was scared of those feelings, but when I began to understand them better and then everything wasn’t that terrifying anymore especially when you showed me that you felt the same way. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this scenario."

Mattie leaned closer to stroke Leo’s cheek and to softly lay another kiss against his waiting lips. This kiss wasn’t as urgent as their other ones, and was much sweeter because they now knew the truth about the others feelings. It was something that Leo already didn’t want to give up anymore and he fought the urge to pull Mattie even closer against him.

Shortly after that Mattie fell asleep in his hold from their activities and since they had quite a busy day together. Leo watched her for a while as he saw how her chest rose with her steady breathing’s which was such a peaceful sight that stirred something deep inside of him. It was something that he never payed much attention to before, but at this very moment it meant the world to him.

Leo hadn’t been able to fight off sleep for that much longer and he had drifted into a dreamless sleep which had lasted at least for a couple of hours until Mattie had stirred in his hold. His heart jolted enthusiastically as he studied the peaceful complexions of her face now that he was given the time. He carefully brushed a strand from her brown hair from her face which made frown appear between Mattie’s brows.

"What time is it?" he heard her ask while she tried to keep her eyes closed and it brought out a gleeful smile on Leo’s lips.

"I believe it’s nearly three in the morning," he answered. "Go back to sleep, Mattie. I’m not going anywhere." He knew that she needed that confirmation that he wasn’t going to disappear on her throughout the night because he was exactly where he wanted to be.

Mattie said nothing else and Leo watched her falling asleep again. He wanted to change for her and show her that he was human know who was overwhelmed by his feelings for someone this enchanting and he wasn’t sure how to properly show her that. Leo could only try and Mattie would help him that.


End file.
